28.2.: portrait in der Berliner Zeitung v. 27.2.2010

in
da muß ich irgendwie drauf antworten. dafür ist dieser blog da. es kommt ja schliesslich nicht alle tage vor, daß eine grosse tageszeitung einem fast eine ganze seite widmet, genau genommen noch nie.

http://www.berlinonline.de/berliner-zeitung/archiv/.bin/dump.fcgi/2010/0...

"vertrauen ist keine einbahnstrasse" so klingt mir noch ein satz des unsäglichen helmut kohls unser jugend nach.

auch dirk peitz, autor des portraits über mich aus der berliner zeitung v. 27.2.2010, hat mir über brüche seiner biografie berichtet. doch die gehen niemanden was an. ich hingegen will ja berühmt werden. noch viel schlimmer, mein ganzes leben gehe ich eigentlich davon aus, daß ich berühmt bin. oder was auch immer, jedenfalls kenne ich keine distanz zu ruhm. wahrscheinlich hat das mit dem narzissmus meiner eltern zu tun, aber auch der interessiert niemanden.

immerhin habe ich schonmal 30 jahre gewartet: udo jürgens seine eigenen lieder vorzuspielen, damals, 1994, um 2h morgens im Interconti Frankfurt und das war das normalste der welt für mich. so sehr war der udo mitte der 60er bei uns zuhause musikalisch-spirituelle nahrung. er hat fast angefangen zu heulen. dann habe ich ihm von meiner russischen oma erzählt und wie ihr, des deutschen nie ganz mächtig, bei "merci cherie" stets die tränen in den augen standen. niemand kann mir das wegnehmen, auch kein schreiber, jaja, wir sind alle unter beweisdruck.

und dirk peitz hat wohl eine ganz gut lesbare, gut recherchierte geschichte geschrieben. ich kann das nicht wirklich beurteilen, denn es geht in der geschichte ja um mich. ich habe ihm mein leben erzählt und er interpretiert es, hält einen spiegel vor, der sich durch seine form bricht. es wird Euch, liebe leser, aber nicht wundern, daß ich mich da drin nicht wieder finden mag. vor allem, weil ich hier als vom schicksal zu grossem erfolg als untauglich befundener dargestellt werde. weil die wurst ein stück zu hoch für mich hänge. weil ich, so wird jedenfalls insinuiert, mir aus meinem misserfolg nur mit traurigen, sehnsuchtsvollen liedern zu helfen wüsste. so ein scheiss. peitz behauptet zwar distanz, outet sich aber am ende als ministrant am altar der hohen mächte des glamours. ein missverständnis, dem schon die besten seiner zunft auf den leim gingen. das liegt aber daran, daß musik für solche menschen immer ein mysterium bleiben muss. wenn ich an so etwas wirklich glaubte, hätte ich mir schon längst den strick nehmen können, spätestens nach lektüre eines solchen aufsatzes.

eigentlich war ich sicher, daß mir dirk helfen würde, die schuhe zu zu binden. auch narzißmus? aber das interessiert hier niemanden.

robbie williams? stimmt, guy hat mir mal ein demo von "let me entertain you" vorgespielt. ich fand das so spannend wie waschmittelwerbemusik. und bis heute zum kotzen. aber der fairness halber will ich nicht weglassen, daß ich "feel" für einen geniestreich halte. ich muß, ja ich darf nicht so einseitig sein.

schöne grüße aus der schweiz.

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